I'll take it from here... (creative writing)
This is a post for 11 year old Jen. If you aren't 11 year old Jen dont read this.
Heyyyyy, so it's our birthday soon! I'm gonna be 25! I know that's like super old, and we are still here. Don't panic though, I got this.
Its been a while, but this last month or so I have felt you with me. Which is weird because you are me. But sometimes I see you in the mirror, or in my photos. We look a lot different now, well kind of. Still got the same smile though.
I just wanted to remind you who we are. Because I know who we are. And we always have been. So, we still have Taylor Swift dance parties alone in our room. And if we go out and hear her playing in the shops or at a restaurant we sing along. Eveytime I hear anything from the Fearless album I think about you. I know how excited you were to go to the Red tour, and guess what, we have seen her 3 more times!!! And every single time we cried.
I know how badly you wanted friends. Real friends. You spent so much time being the new kid who spoke funny. But now I have real friends (who sometimes say I speak funny). These friends are really cool. I go out with them all the time and do cool things you would think are kinda weird. We went Axe throwing this year!!! You would have been scared haha. And these friends, they are my whole world.
I know that you always wanted a pet that wasn't another goldfish. And I have a black Cat named Mars! He is everything and more. You would have loved him so much. You always loved animals.
Oh, we still love going to the park and running to the swings. Actually, each year I go to the playground to watch the fireworks for new years. Up wayyyy past bedtime. Definitely beats staying up in pjs watching the 9pm fireworks on TV! I wish you could come with me. We got rained on this year, it was so funny.
Do you remember all the princess makeup sets we had! Guess what..... I'm actually really really good at it now! But im sorry we don't wear coral lipstick anymore, I actually like clear gloss the best now. But eyes are always the best part anyway.
I know how badly you wanted help. I got it for us. I think that's actually why im talking to you right now. This year specifically has been rough. We are sick, it's not great. And we dont have a family now, not that we ever really had one. You know that though. But, you have me! And I have a 100% survival rate so far and they are great odds. I actually am starting to think that this year was actually to show me that I am not you.
Now that sounds crazy, especially after i just rambled on and on about how we are the same. Hear me out, you are just a kid. And what happened to you, was not fair, was not your fault, and you couldn't help yourself. I am an adult, and what happened to me, was not fair, was not my fault, was not your fault, however I can help myself.
We still hate the word resilient because lets be real that gives all the credit to the circumstances and none to us. We are strong though! Strength is what we built together. You started it. But I'll take it from here...
I know who to call when we need help. I know how to get through the loopholes. And how to find new options. Make better choices (mostly). Above all, I know who i am. Nothing will ever take that away.
Keep being that wild, funny, outspoken, silly girl that we both know you are. You find plenty of people in yhe future who love you for it.
Okay, it's almost your bedtime, 8pm sharp. I want you to crawl under your pink blanket, cuddle your teddys extra tight for me, and try to get some sleep. I'm here now, I'll keep us safe. I promise.
Goodnight Jenny. Sleep well. Happy Birthday x
-Jen xx
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